Hey! I'm actually doing this!

So, I'm actually starting this from me adding this blog about a year ago. I've had some major rough ups and downs. The up is that I love my husband more than ever. The down is that my bipolar disorder keeps fucking shit up. If I didn't go into a dissociative state and remember shit ( even going to get burritos) It'd be one thing. But most mornings I wake up and have no clue where I am. Maybe that isn't Bipolar disorder. Maybe it's my brain being fucked and BPD is the only thing that can happen to me. Please let it be that. Please dear god.